I agree that the grammatical and historical facts are the key elements in recapturing the author's intended meaning. But when a word is used so little, and disputed so often, with no clear consensus coming out it would seem that the greater context is that which would determine the meaning of the word. Certainly if the word was not there at all we could speculate about what it most likely would be by the reading of the text.
In the case of Philippians 2 the great theme of the chapter is that those listening should share in the condescension of Christ.
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PHP 2:1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
PHP 2:5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
PHP 2:6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
PHP 2:7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
In the passage Paul is exhorting them to regard their brothers as BETTER than themselves, though in fact, they are all one in Christ, and equal..not to mention all equally sinners. The point is to voluntarily lower oneself in order to serve.
With this in mind we have the idea of Christ being in the form of God (I prefer the reading in very nature, as will soon be seen), but He did not consider equality with God something to be HELD ONTO. Not because it was not desirable. But because it was the intention of the Son to SERVE. And therefore it was more desirable to give up that nature, not to grasp it. He willingly made himself something less than what He was in order to serve others. Paul is now saying that believers should do the same. They should consider others better than themselves, though in fact they are equal, and should serve those around them.
Notice that μορφή (mor-fay) is used twice in the passage. Christ was in the very μορφή of God, and then he took on the very μορφή of a servant.
Essentially it is saying that Jesus was in fact equal with God, was the same as God, had the same nature as God, but took on the nature of a servant (human in this case), became a creature, emptied himself, and BECAME a person.
The point is that Christ really did change into a person, and He really was God. But the reason for doing this was service.
I agree with you that in fact Jesus was subordinate to God the Father not only while on earth (as some contend), but is pictured as being so even after His resurrection and ascension.
For instance in 1 Corinthians 15:24-28 we see clear evidence of the submission of the Son.
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Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. 25 For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. 26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death. 27 For he "has put everything under his feet." Now when it says that "everything" has been put under him, it is clear that this does not include God himself, who put everything under Christ. 28 When he has done this, then the Son himself will be made subject to him who put everything under him, so that God may be all in all.
It is very plain from this text that God the Father or , simply God as it says, is over all, and always will be.
However, I do agree that they share the same nature. But an illustration I find more helpful than that of mathematical concepts of infinity is that of marriage. Paul says that there is no male or female in Christ (Galatians 4:28) . Peter says that men and women, husband and wife are co-heirs of salvation (I Peter 3:7). But he also says that the woman is the "weaker" vessel. Clearly men and women are of equal value before God. They are equal in many ways. But the Bible still maintains that they have different ROLES.
Therefore the same Paul who said there is no male or female in Christ says,
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EPH 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
And the same Peter who says that the husband and wife are co-heirs with God also says,
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1PE 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
In the same way the Father and Son can be of the same value, same nature, same worth, etc. but have different roles, and one be in subjection to the other.
In fact Jesus says that the whole order of heaven is for the greater to serve the lesser:
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LK 22:24 Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. 28 You are those who have stood by me in my trials. 29 And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me, 30 so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
Here it says that the great should serve the weak. Jesus was the master of the disciples, truly so, but he served them. Just as we earlier saw in Philippians, now we see Jesus saying that they should follow His example.
Jesus' role was to be submissive to the Father, to serve, to give up His nature and take on a lower one. This in turn caused God to exalt Him.
If we simply look at certain verses we could say perhaps that God took a person...or maybe an angel..or perhaps even a lesser deity, and made him something great because he served. But we cannot ignore those versus where Jesus says that He and the Father are One. Nor that the Word was with God and was God, etc.
So in trying to make sense of all the biblical data what I have found is that
a. God is, and always will be over the Son
b. This seems to be a difference of roles, not of nature.
As was stated earlier though, we have only the texts that are given. Certainly God will make all things clear to us at some point, but for now we have to go with what He has shown in the sum total of the various scripture passages.