A Reform-minded Seventh-day Adventist forum In our aim to exalt everything important, first and foremost, we seek to promote a clear understanding of Daniel, Revelation, the three angels' messages and the alpha and omega of apostasy.
Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2003 10:39 am Post subject: Baptist Dog
The following was forwarded to me from a "Christian" email list whose usual message is called "Puritan Quote of the Week." My immediate reaction was that it's comparable to the messages posted in The Bottomless Pit, and, willing to show my disapproval of the statement, I posted it there.
I soon changed my mind and moved the statement to this forum, thinking that this is a more fitting place.
A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife.
"Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner.
"Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.
That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"
"I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good grief! He's Pentecostal!"
Joined: 09 Dec 2002 Posts: 69 Location: Largo Florida
Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2003 2:51 pm Post subject:
I am insulted by the joke and may you burn in hell according to the words of Jesus who doesn't lie:
Matt 5:21 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.'
5:22 "But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire
I assure you wise seeker that I have no anger or hatred for Pentecostals. That was not my motivation.
I just now added my actual thoughts to the opening post (the red text) to make the matter clear. I don't want anyone else to get a wrong impression.
I do not think of Pentecostals as dogs. But if a dog were Pentecostal, it would most certainly howl and jump and heal. I thank you for understanding.
BTW, I recall reading in books by John MacArthur and Hank Hanegraaff that some charismatic Pentecostals do indeed bark and make animal sounds as evidence of the spirit that is present and guiding them. If you feel insulted by an imaginary story of a Pentecostal dog, how do you feel about the supposedly true animal behavior mimicked by human Pentecostals as published by MacArthur and Hanegraaff?
Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:37 am Post subject: Can you feel the Christian Love? - burn in hell?
Perhaps if you fed your spirit (read the holy word of God) more than you fed your flesh (confusing emotialism with being spirit filled) you would see just how hateful that statement was. Inviting folks to burn in hell?
Brother your heart is not right before the Lord. Put your faith in God and his holy word not in an organization...putting ones faith in a denominiations (any denomination) is simply wrong.
1 Corinthians 1:12-17 Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos; and I of Cephas; and I of Christ. (13) Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptized in the name of Paul? (14) I thank God that I baptized none of you, but Crispus and Gaius; (15) Lest any should say that I had baptized in mine own name. (16) And I baptized also the household of Stephanas: besides, I know not whether I baptized any other. (17) For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
Before you damn me to hell as well I you might consider this I am probably older than you and I attended pentacostal churchs long before you were born. _________________ Timeline of Judaic and Christian events
Stuff your religious leaders never told you
http://n2messiah.topcities.com/index.htm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002 Posts: 69 Location: Largo Florida
Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:05 am Post subject: Re: Yes you will burn in hell for not accepting my rebuke!
n2messiah wrote:
) For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
Before you damn me to hell as well I you might consider this I am probably older than you and I attended pentacostal churchs long before you were born.
You damned yourself to hell by not accepting rebuke and preaching with wisdom of words and not a demonstration of Spirit and power. If you were truly spiritual you would have prayed about all of this instead of adding coals to the fire. You cannot blame me for quoting the words of Jesus who said that about those who offend that they are to be rebuked:
17:1 Then He said to the disciples, "It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!
17:2 "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
17:3 "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Luke
What was in you came out and I have the right to rebuke anybody inspite of your judgments and foolish words:
1TM 5:20 Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.
2TM 4:2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.
TI 1:13 This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith,
TI 2:15 Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you.
HEB 12:5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: "My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
RV 3:19 "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.
PROV 1:23 Turn at my rebuke; Surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.
PROV 1:25 Because you disdained all my counsel, And would have none of my rebuke,
PROV 1:30 They would have none of my counsel And despised my every rebuke.
PROV 9:8 Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.
PROV 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
PROV 13:8 The ransom of a man's life is his riches, But the poor does not hear rebuke.
PROV 13:18 Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.
PROV 15:31 The ear that hears the rebukes of life Will abide among the wise.
PROV 15:32 He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, But he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.
PROV 17:10 Rebuke is more effective for a wise man Than a hundred blows on a fool.
PROV 19:25 Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; Rebuke one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge.
PROV 24:25 But those who rebuke the wicked will have delight, And a good blessing will come upon them.
PROV 25:12 Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold Is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear.
PROV 27:5 Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed.
PROV 28:23 He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward Than he who flatters with the tongue.
PROV 29:1 He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck, Will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.
PROV 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
PROV 30:6 Do not add to His words, Lest He rebuke you, and you be found a liar.
Joined: 29 Sep 2003 Posts: 15 Location: Northampton UK
Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2003 8:10 pm Post subject: PROV:7:10:10
Quote:
Before you damn me to hell as well I you might consider this I am probably older than you and I attended pentacostal churchs long before you were born.
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